Discernment – gone awry?

I used to pride myself in being able to discern people – their heart, their intentions, their actions, etc. Now I'm not so sure. Then again, I used to sit in a corner and not speak much and so I had plenty of time to observe other people and their interactions.  In the last couple of years I've been more vocal at work and somehow I equate more vocal with being less observant. Or, maybe I just can't multi-task as much as I tend to think.

Either way, right now I feel kind of alone at work and even in other situations surrounding work. I feel so distant from people. I feel like sometimes I'm purposely left out of things. I was on this route to success and then it somehow dropped off. Could I have become too bold? Too demanding? Too something? I don't know. Either way, I've tried to be quieter in meetings, tried not to disagree or be condescending, and try to show appreciation for others ideas.

Suddenly I'm not in a lot of meetings or ever invited out to lunch. Sure, I don't want to go to half these places, but somewhere in that process it feels like people may be talking about me or intentionally not wanting to be around me. Hmmm.

Not sure why I am having these feelings today.But, I'm feeling kind of low.

I had so many ideas and moved forward to implement them before and now I wonder why even try. It's perceived as making others look bad or not treating my boss with respect. Or, maybe I'm just in a mood?

Either way, I'm going to try to get back to my old powers of discernment. Maybe getting back to that means leaving some things behind.

Time to move on?

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