Yep, it’s been meeting mania the last two weeks and I am completely worn out. My INTJ personality can’t handle all of this human contact. In order to compensate, I’ve come home every night to rest and to blog and journal until all words in my head are out and I can finally go to sleep.
The hardest part lately revolves around this “gold standard” we’ve created for courseware. It is an internal standard, but it basically comes down to 1.) making our products looking more professional and 2.) adding more interactive and learner engagement. Shouldn’t be too hard, right?
This has been the hardest part of my year because somehow we can’t get the requirements translated into an actual product. Unfortunately, I don’t create the product. I only approve the product. However, if I am in a situation where I constantly send the work back to get changed…we never get anything out the door and we run out of money. Thus, no product and no money. Along with this, I have no one else to turn to if the product doesn’t turn out right.
Basically, it leaves me in a lose-lose situation. In order to get some kind of win out of that combination I have to choose my battles, play politics on two sides and hard ball on the other. It’s very difficult for me because I hate fighting things based upon anything besides what is smart and efficient for the product.
Now, leadership isn’t happy, my boss isn’t happy and the contractors are all unhappy and …all for different reasons.
This is not a good time for me to be going through this kind of dilemma. I’ve been dealing with this for over a year and I’m tired. Really tired. And, along with being tired I am getting phone calls about other opportunities.
The quote comes to my mind that goes something like this:
“Sometimes it is holding on that makes one strong and sometimes it is letting go.”
I’ve tried to do my best in my job, but part of me wonders if it is time to move on and experience something else. Maybe the right person is out there that could come in and take over from this point and help it grow. Maybe it’s time to pursue something that I’m interested in…like knowledge management.
I came home and did some work tonight just to feel like I was getting a little more ahead. Now it’s 9:15 p.m. and I’m absolutely worn out.