Working in an office with a contractor that is about to lose their job has given me some insight into my own emotions and plight.
She did a good job. She was the best program manager that company ever had for that contract. She cared about her team. In fact, even though she was used to managing more people that were highly skilled and higher levels, she recognized the skills of the team and worked with them at their level.
Now that their contract is up for re-compete, her own company didn’t try to place her on the contract. They just left her out to dry even though true performance started when they brought her on the team. The company VP treats her poorly and is doing everything possible to keep his own job, at the expense of her.
So, I sit across her every day and see her emotions. It is not good for successful people to be placed under low self-esteem people. The low self-esteem will always win out in these bureaucratic organizations. The successful people will be hung out to dry.
This creates huge cognitive dissonance of the mind. If there was a high powered person that was letting you go, your mind might be able to accept what was going on. But, when it is a mind that isn’t thinking as big, and they have the ability to control what happens to you, I don’t think the mind can grasp that experience. It doesn’t make sense – not on any level.
Watching it occur helps me understand my own feelings and experiences. I push back when I need to, I share ideas, I try to move forward. Yet, I don’t move ahead. They’ve kept me locked into my position for the two years that I’ve asked for opportunities to grow. In some ways, it feels like they are trying to push me out. The brain disturbance that this creates is at times unbearable and has caused many a sleepless night.
So, here’s the future and creating a life of cognitive non-dissonance! A life where we can act, and not be acted upon.
Taking charge starts now.
