Emotional Yo-Yo

I slept from 9:30 p.m. to 6:30 a.m. last night. That’s a full nine hours of sleep. Very rare for me.
But, I’m still exhausted.
Yes, I’ve worked a lot of hours over the last couple of weeks, but I don’t think it is that. I think it is from a meeting I had at the end of the day yesterday. My boss and our contracting officer were swept away by the program manager contractor that has caused us so much pain the last couple of months.
How does this happen? I guess some people are great at sales and acting.

My counterpart and I have nothing but distrust for this person who has made our life difficult over the last two months. Just a few things that merit the mistrust:

  • Status reports – She hasn’t given status and when she has, it is wrong.
  • Beautiful charts – All the beautiful charts have incorrect numbers.
  • Firing people – She fired half the staff leaving us in a lurch.
  • Later and tomorrow – She promised every single week that she would have updates and certain things would get to us “later today” and “tomorrow” and the promised items never arrived.
  • Master of Blame and her “recovery plan” – Yesterday at the meeting she displayed that she was a master at placing blame on everyone – everyone else but herself. In fact, she has promised us a recovery plan. A recovery plan? A recovery from what? From the mess that she created. What a brilliant tactical move? She is creating a plan for us to recover from her own mess and guess what – my boss bought it! Without a thought, but commented that was great and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
These are the things that hurt the heart and mind. You feel like you should start swearing at the top of your lungs and beat people in the rear. However, it will more than likely create tears. That is what I had on the drive home at least. Tears because it appeared like my own boss was willing to support the person that has never produced a thing and tears because it was clear that my credibility has gone down the tubes. And wasn’t it just that morning that I had received a compliment for all my hard work?
I don’t want to go to work this morning. I’m dreading it. But, I will go. I will clean up what I can. I will keep moving forward. I will not look back. Not this time. I’ve fallen for the false sense of security before, but it’s creating a cognitive dissonance now.
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