Secret Sorrow

My boss just came in and told me about possible switching arounds that will be taking place in our department soon.
 
He talked about the possibility of me moving up into another role that someone will be vacating soon.
 
He talked about how I would be most qualified, but the management would have to go for it.
 
Hmmm.
 
He even said that they would go to bat for me like they did for someone else in our group that happened to move forward before me.
 
Hmmm.
 
I expressed interest, but also stated that I realized that it could go either way knowing the local politics of our organization.
 
Hmmm.
 
This was the conversation that I had been hoping to have one day soon.
 
It is also the conversation that will determine how quickly I will move forward.
 
Hmmm.
 
I should be flattered, glad, excited, and happy.
 
Hmmm.
 
I am not.
 
I closed the door and had a few droplets in my eyes.
 
 
What an awful feeling to have your work fate determined by the managing body that thinks smaller than my own brain operates.
 
Life is short, it is time.
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