Today I had another “I’m sorry” that I had to express.
The difficult thing about this “I’m sorry” is that I am not sorry about what I said. It was necessary feedback. However, I am sorry about the venue where I presented the feedback – in front of three people instead of one.
Typically, I’m the last person to give feedback this way. I give it one-on-one and then if that doesn’t work, go up a level.
What spurred it was personal stress, history of dealing with issues from this person (whether they know that I’ve had to deal with their issues is yet for me to know), and because I was tired of the person constantly pointing out how others needed to improve and change.
The door opened and my mouth walked right in like it was right at home. My mouth also opened so that the others in the room that wanted to share the feedback didn’t have to. I was sparing them at the expense of another.
Guess that can’t be a win-win.
So, what happens after these situations?
Initial reaction?
– Me – I come home thinking I’d better apply to other jobs because now I don’t want to work around them or because I’m sick of the minutia.
– Other person – fed up with me and not wanting to work with me. I understand. I embarrassed them.
– Office Avoidance – yes, we either do this or think about avoiding hallways, bathrooms, and other places where chance meetings can take place.
Reality – because I’m a future leader, right?
– Me – write apology note to the person for sharing this feedback in public, inform my boss and their boss that I was wrong and that I overstepped my bounds, inform the person that I’m willing to talk about this when they are ready.
– Other Person – who knows. No response. No sightings. Nothing.
So, today I’m relieved that I brought up the “I’m sorry” that I needed to do. But, still on edge because I’d still like to have a walk/talk.
This is my second big apology this week. The other one wasn’t so much my issue, but it at least gave me practice in taking personal corrective action.
