Every tenth episode seems like a great place to respond to the feedback, questions, and thoughts that get shared along the journey. You are a great support and this is one way to acknowledge your inputs.
Episode 20 Show Notes
- RK3 Show – Robert Kennedy’s podcast – http://www.robertkennedy3.com/therk3show/
Episode 20 Show Script
This is Rebecca Clark. Episode 20 Push back on the desk This’ll Podcast is for anyone that knows they haven’t yet found and offered up their best work but are compelled to seek it out and do it. Are you ready to move your does every 10. I’m planning on having a push back on the desk show because I feel like it’s a good time frame to receive feedback and thoughts from others and kind of share summary of those with you, since some of you are the ones that have provided that feedback. And so it’s important to me as someone who believes that I am nudging you, that you are nudging me that we’re all helping each other learn and grow. Two. Acknowledge the fact that you are sharing your insights are asking your questions and in some cases, have your concerns. I wanted to share today that I got what I thought was a great piece of feedback If you listened. Thio Episode 15 TV TERROR or notes Timeless Terror about the TV terror podcast I mentioned how I really loved a review that someone gave to Anthony Bartolo for his TV terror podcast, and I wanted to frame it and put it on my wall because that’s the kind of feedback I wanted to get. And then I got some great feedback and it made my day. Actually, it made my week. One little piece of good feedback takes me a long way. So, uh, I wanted to share part of that feedback with you because some of it was personal, and some of it I just wanted to share, not to brag, but to share, so that you can pretend that you received the seat back and see how you would feel if you receive this feedback from someone who took the time to write it. And he talked about how uplifting it was to listen to the podcast, and he said, So I will just say remarkable, uplifting and inspiring and so very pleasant. Podcasts are a great medium for me. I’m able to absorb information better when I can move about and, like a book podcast, require the author to create a visual ization of what’s being conveyed. I’m very visual in my thoughts, and that is how I learned best and what holds my attention. I listened to a variety of podcast on a regular basis. Move your desk is as good as any podcast I’ve listened to. I’m about halfway through and will be disappointed when I’m caught up. And then he also knows that I have stepped out of my job and says that the pursuit of your own thing is an amazing and endeavor. And it probably sounds silly, but I’ve been worried for you. After listening to you this morning, my worry is gone. You are a natural, and I believe this is your thing. I know you’ll find even greater success as you share your experience, wisdom and knowledge, your insight. Helping others succeed. Thank you. Thank you, Bruce, because these are the kinds of feedback that helps keep creators creating right in the process of it, I learned how to share the experience is better. And why do they even matter? And that is something that will take some time to figure out right beyond the story. How’s this gonna help? How is this gonna help you change something about your life or your work? And of course, that’s not all on me or any other creator. That’s on the person that’s consuming it in deciding what that means for them. But to receive this feedback is important. And I love how he admits that I’m afraid for you. You’re jumping off a cliff and I don’t see anything but a sharp rock for you to land on. And to know that hearing a little bit gave confidence that maybe there will be some options that will open up for me. So it was expression of confidence, but also admitting that there was some fear, but also saying, Hey, I learned something from what you shared. So thank you, Bruce. I also enjoyed hearing from the transportation guy again, and he has given me license to call him the aviation guy or Scott Matthews, which afraid, prefer. And so I was trying to hide him too much, which is pretty funny because in the last push back on the desk, I mentioned him and was trying to veil his identity. And yet the feedback he gave me this time was about the episode on hiding, and that episode is Episode 14 called Hiding. And that was about the boy that for Halloween he finally went out trick or treating because he was dressed as a Tiger and you know the story. It first seems like Tomas is the only person hiding, but really, everybody else was sitting there observing him and not doing anything either. And they all needed someone to take a step, and Scott shares that he has experienced. This is well, when he’s gone to a new church or any new gathering and realize that in the past, you know, he would wait for people to speak to him or it feel offended. And he says, I used to be offended or hurt by this. But I’ve learned by now that sitting by myself, a table with a quote unquote mask of indifference on will not gain me any new friends. I think that the newbie often has to take the responsibility for reaching out Justus you described and give other people permission or whatever to interact. Invariably, they’re friendly if you do so, but it’s a mistake for new people joining a social group to think that everyone will approach them beyond a friendly greeting. Friendships can Onley form when you dropped that mask enough for people to see the real you, with whom they probably have many things in common isn’t that great? I’m grateful that Scott took the time to share that. And I know that I have worked through Ah lot of that in my life and still have a long ways to go because I started off in life very introverted and very shy and have learned to get through a lot of my shyness. But I am introverted, and I don’t mind that now I understand that. That’s okay as long as I understand that introversion is the need to have some time to myself to gather up energy, to interact with people and to appreciate that time myself and understand that when I am out with people, I do need to make an effort to interact a little bit, not just stand there stoically in the corner, because maybe they don’t know how to interpret my presence, especially if I am quietly standing there. And I think sometimes is an adult. Those social settings can bring up some shyness, and some of us have to talk to ourselves and say, Oh, you’re the one to go put out your hand and say Hi, I’m so and so tell me about yourself. Instead of waiting for someone to come up and do it to you and what’s really funny and interesting to me as when we assume we’re the only new person. And then we find out later that, like half the room was new and everyone was expecting someone else to make the first move at, which is why I used that story in that episode 14 because everyone’s waiting for someone to take action. And then you know that everyone’s doing that. Because when someone does take action, everyone’s all of a sudden. Okay, it’s okay to take action. Let’s start interaction and let’s do some great things. So interesting thoughts. Thank you again, Scott. One other point I’d like to bring up that I learned amongst these episodes is that I was starting to love the podcast medium so much. That and I had to get so much out of me that I started delivering two or three episodes a week, and part of my brain knew that. Most people expect one episode a week on a certain day, and part of me is like I’ve got to get all of this out of me and get kind of up to speed to what my brain thought I should be at which my brain thinks I should already have 100 episodes out. Does that sound crazy to you? I don’t know. But that was my goal, right? I want to get 100 episodes out and then focus on other things, but that’s not how it works. It’s baby steps a little at a time, and I’m grateful that Double Morin, Anthony Re Tollo both mentioned to me they kind of gave me a gentle nudge to think about choosing one day a week to have an episode go live. And I think it’s interesting that they both recommended this within a one or two day period of each other right when I was thinking I needed to formalize that a bit more. And so my thought and their nudges combined to help me decide that it will be. Every Monday, a new episode will come out and that will be moved your desk Mondays or Monday. Move your desks. Either way, it’ll be out every Monday. So heads up that it was great feedback that helped me take action. And isn’t it interesting that you can have a thought? But sometimes you have to have other people external to you, pointed out to you to really confirm that it’s time to take action on that thought. I’d like to make a special shout out to Kevin Chow, who gave me a review on the Apple podcast site, which, first of all, kudos for figuring out how to do it. It’s It is so hard to figure out how to leave a review on some of these sites. I just can’t believe it. I’m always shocked when I find the screen when I’m listening to a podcast, so I immediately give people their review right then because I don’t know if I’ll be able to find it again. So thank you. And he gave it on the specific episode about boss frameworks, and to me, that’s very important on Episode 11. That’s about boss frameworks, like using a framework as you communicate with your boss. Because Kevin was very good at this and probably still is. I’m no longer his boss, but, um, he’s very good at providing those updates and frameworks on a regular basis. So thank you. And I’m grateful for Kim Richards and Deborah Kerwin, who regularly re share my podcast on Lengthen. That means a lot. I feel like I had a personal win. When Alison Chow, who 17 years old, told me that she enjoyed an episode she listened to because having a teenager like anything you do is a huge win, right? I don’t even care if she doesn’t like any of the other episodes. She liked one of them, and that’s enough to encourage me to keep talking and keep sharing and good luck to her as she figures out which college she is going to go to, whichever one she goes to will benefit her and the school. This week I was on an interview with Nicole Clark. She is, you know, full disclosure. She is married to my cousin and she is starting a challenge. And she’s written a book recently called Refresh for Moms. And she interviewed me for her group, and it’s interesting because she asked a very simple question about me leaving my job and said, Well, how are you feeling about leaving it now? And it was really interesting for me to stop and think and go Wait a second here. I am so worried about what I’m learning and what I’m doing right now that I don’t know that I’ve stopped to really think about this big change because I have so many expectations of myself to grow and overcome mental hurdles. And I do write down my accomplishments and I’ll tell you that in another episode, because it’s super interesting to me. But as I stopped and thought about it, I’m like, Wait a second, it feels good. It’s not easy. It’s different. I have made my life a little more messy, actually, because I’m trying to figure out what should go on the counter, what times I should spend learning about coaching, what time I should be podcast. What time should I be creating products and when should I should work with all those administrative and technical decisions, the main to make? And so I’m missing emails and I’m late for some things. I’m a little bit disoriented in this change, and yet it’s good. I feel like I’m moving in the right direction and, you know, I told her, and I’ll tell you, there’s part of me that’s at peace, knowing that I have let go, and I am moving my desk in the direction that I wanted to move it. And there’s part of me that is very exhilarated, which is not seeking peace at all. Right? I exhilarated by the challenges and what I have to work through, and I can look back in my notebook and see everything. I finished everything. I’ve tried everything that I felt like a failure at. Now I know how to do and go. Wow, this is a great process. And I’m seeing why I sought this because it will expand me and help me to become a better version of myself at the end of the day, even though I’m in that messy middle right now and so I’m glad she asked me. That question also wanted to point out that in this process someone I used to work with, Adam Judge reached out and said, Hey, you know, I’d be interested in having you on this board. That would be right up your alley. And right after he asked that I started having a couple of requests from different people and I started to do sit there and have some anxiety going. Wait a second thes air. New choices that I’m dealing with that in the past, I might have said yes, absolutely. That’s right up my alley. It’s training and development, learning technologies and supporting that in a corporate environment. And suddenly I’ve realized I had to get very clear on what direction I was going because they were gonna be requests coming in that I would be used to entertaining and accepting. And now I’d have to go Wait a second. How does this fit with what I’m trying to do right now? And I bring up Adam because I am very grateful that when I finally figured out how to respond to him, he was very gracious and accepting of my response and kept the door open for possibilities when I was ready. And that was a good example to me of how I need to deal with moving my desk that I need to allow other people to think through if this fits what they’re trying to accomplish or not, And when they come back to me and let me know that I can honor their request and know that they have been trying to figure out for themselves what their focus should be, and if I don’t fit into it, that’s okay. We can support each other in different ways, and that’s great. Back in Episode eight, that’s about blank pieces of paper and getting comfortable taking a blank piece of paper and just getting started. I shared how is important to be ableto have some of that skill, even if you’re someone that’s more comfortable with other people taking the first step and leading out, and then you coming in and doing the deeper analysis or deeper organization or whatever is required. And it’s funny because in the last week or so, Robert Kennedy has created the RK three show came out with an episode number 40 and in it he shares this analogy of new tracks in the snow, which I think is similar to a blank piece of paper. And he talked about how, when you create new tracks in the snow, I mean, you are forging new territories, and so it’s a little different than when you are driving on tracks that were already in the snow, which you think would be helpful. But then, when you realize sometimes when you get caught in those new tracks, especially if the snow gets hardened around it and it gets a little icy in those tracks like you can get very stuck in those track and it can become a little hard to maneuver out of those tracks. And I appreciate that analogy because having lived in these places that get snow, I related very well to that story. And so he’s. He’s also talking about how improvisation is very good to try or at least learn lessons from. And I think it’s It’s all part of that blank piece of paper, new tracks in the snow learning how to improvise, that it’s being willing to go out there and do something you don’t know anything about and just getting started and see what happens. And I was on a mastermind call this week with eclectic entrepreneurs, and a woman mentioned that she was a substitute teacher, and that brought memories up for me as well. That substitute teaching is an example of improv and is an example sometimes of taking a blank piece of paper because you are walking into the unknown almost every day and having to make do. Even if the teacher left lesson plans, you’re still trying to interpret them. You still don’t know what students are coming at you and what their typical behaviors are and see you. You’re in a situation where you’re learning and growing and you have to respond with options immediately. So these are a lot of things that have come up for me this week. And as I collected feedback from some of the different episodes and wanted to share that, I’m hopeful that you will keep sharing your insights and keep asking questions and keep reminding me of what I haven’t covered about a topic. And so is just one last note. I realized that in the negotiation Frameworks episode, I forgot to spend some time that I wanted to spend on what kind of information you should be sharing with a future employer. And we got schooled on this back in one of my recruiting jobs when we would look at her resume and say, Oh, they live 10 hours away. They’re too far. Let’s interview a closer candidate. Oh, they sound like they have all this stuff going on with their family. Oh, they wouldn’t be a right fit because, you know, they said they have this obstacle they have to overcome, and I don’t know the latest and greatest human resource is rules for recruiting. But I do know this when we had someone that we thought would be a great candidate and they did not live near the job site, we were told when we initially interviewed that candidate to tell them this position is located at this location and the office hours and days that you’re expected to be. There are Monday through Friday 8 to 5, for example. And then we would ask, Is there anything preventing you from working Monday through Friday 8 to 5 at this location in Washington, D. C. And if they said no, they’re like, OK, because it was none of our business where they lived or how they were going to get to the job. It was more of a matter of, Can you be there and do what you need to dio in that time frame and you have to trust that that person it’s gonna work it out and you may not know their plans, right? They might have already been planning to move where you’re going to be. Or maybe that was their lifelong dream is to move to the city where the job was, You don’t know when it’s none of your business, and you had to ask questions that honored that from a human resource perspective. And we all know that by law we’re not to have prejudiced and hiring. But they’re certain ways away. Must make sure we ask questions of candidates to focus on the outcomes that are trying to achieve in the organization versus trying to find out what their current circumstances are. Because circumstances can change, they don’t matter. What matters is how they can perform. And if they can perform where, when and how you need them to, then the rest has to be figured out. And of course, some candidates will think that you’re supposed to help them figure that out, and maybe they negotiate that into the negotiation. But ultimately that’s on them. I’d say on the candidates end as well to remember not to offer up unnecessary information. If you see on the website, the the owner of the organization are a leader. Whatever’s had certain experiences. Sometimes it’s okay to bring some of that up. If you have similar experiences, I know in the government, people like to kind of drop if they’ve worked in one of the armed forces, especially if they know the person interviewing them was part of that. But other things, like if you have special needs in your family or if you are going through a divorce or through a marriage, or if you have lots of kids, this is none of their business. First of all, the company or organization should not be asking about that. Secondly, why are you offering it up? Look, that’s not something that needs to be discussed, and you certainly don’t need to cloud the vision of the person hiring you now. Hopefully, they don’t get clouded vision from you offering up information like that. But let’s get them focused on how great you would be for the organization, because at the end of the day, it’s your job to figure out how to pay your own bills and how to take care of your own special needs. That’s not the organization’s problem, and that sounds kind of callous. But when you’re interviewing, you and the organization, both have to think that way. Now, after you are on board and working and contributing and growing and you run into situations where you need special accommodations for something or your life. Circumstances do change, and there’s different factors to consider. Well, hopefully at that point you have been so effective in what you do that when you do sit down with your boss or some other person that is instrumental in negotiating thes kinds of things will say, Wow, I’m so glad we talked about this. Let’s figure out a way to make it work together. But that is not something that you go into as something to negotiate with. You’re not going to be negotiating with. I need a better job because I have lots of bills and debts to pay. That’s not the organization’s problem. You’re not negotiating saying, Hey, I have special family needs that I want you to consider. No, no, no. They have a job that needs to be done. Can you do the job? And if you can grate and you’ll figure out how to take care of your family needs and then at which point you’ve been performing and feel like you can go and re negotiate is the time you can come forward and say, I’d like to talk about how I can continue to perform, but I need to change up some things. And I would love to work with you to do that because I’d like to stay here and keep contributing. So thes are just some thoughts that have come through for this next push back on the desk episode. I hope you keep sharing, and I hope you keep moving your desk in whatever that way is for you, and I’ll talk to you soon on a Monday. Thank you. Thank you for listening to another episode of the move. Your best show. If you enjoyed listening, I would love if you would take the time to give a five star review and share the podcast with friends that are seeking to find and do their best.