Episode 62 – The Wet Cement

This is Rebecca Clark Episode 62 The Wet Cement.

This podcast is for anyone that knows they haven’t yet found and offered up their best work but are compelled to seek it out and do it. Are you ready to move your desk?

Hi, everyone. Rebecca here. I have continued to include in my daily and weekly regiment the review of old documents, journals, blog’s that kind of thing. It brings up old and new ideas, also helps me let go some things physically and mentally and is very therapeutic in many ways.

I came across this blogged post I had written in August of 2010. That’s 10 years ago now, and I called it Wet Cement and Personal Walls. I had written it down because I was walking to a conference session somewhere, and I don’t even know where this was. But, I walked by a fairly new sidewalk and on one of the blocks of cement there some vulgar words that had obviously appeared during the wet cement phase of the sidewalk being created. So it’s forever inscribed on the sidewalk until someone decides they’re gonna pay for it to be covered up or it becomes part of the demolition for a new sidewalk or something else, and I got really sidetracked when I saw it.

It’s not the first time I’ve seen it. We’ve all seen this, but I was thinking at the time a lot about it. Why are people doing this? Do they do it just for fun? Is it to get back at someone? Are they doing it just because they can? Just because there’s this exposed sidewalk? That’s what cement they want to put their mark. They want to show people they have the guts to do it, and there’s so many purposes that are unclear in this scenario, and it costs money to change. Right.

There is a person that paid for the labor and the materials, and now they’re going to have to pay more or they’re just gonna have to leave it as is. And they obviously have reasons to make a choice, to do whatever they dio at that point. But either way, it’s gonna be more materials and people to change that materials and people they had not necessarily planned on using. So I have so many lessons when it comes to this, because in my mind at that time, I decided that what cement comes in many forms, it comes in blog’s Facebook walls.

Our own body, right? We can put tattoos on our bodies emails, YouTube videos, mobile phone videos, hand written letters, physical reactions to others. So if you think of traffic jam behavior or when people cut in line, these are all wet cement. Moments, I guess, is where we have a chance to put our mark on the world. Say our peace contribute. And it’s interesting to see what we do with that freedom and that responsibility. What are we willing to write in our wet cement that will soon become hardened until we decide to make changes?

And what are we doing to others? Wet cement. Every year I order a book called My Social Book. I guess that’s the brand, but I order it because it comes to me and it has all of my Facebook posts, and I love it. It’s like an alternative journal, and there’s pictures and there’s comments, and there’s what I’ve written, and it matters to me what is on my Facebook wall. So I am very strategic about what I put on my Facebook wall about my life, about what I’m willing to comment on once in a long while.

I put something up, and I immediately take it down because I realize whoops. That was a hot potato. And I didn’t really want to have that hot potato in the book that I’m going to be ordering later that year. Now some would say, Oh, you’re trying to scrub your life or you’re trying to this that of the other? No, I’m using this as a mechanism to make sure that I’m aware of what I put out there because what cement is only wet for so long it dries, and when it dries, it’s harder to change it.

It takes a lot more time and energy. Then it would take up front to just make sure we keep the wet cement fairly clean. So there’s a few angles to look at this from, and I thought we’d break it down. First of all, you could argue that the people that allow level Garrity or the pictures of the disruption to the cement should have protected their cement better, and you could be right, right? They could have people that air on guard, so to speak, to make sure that this wet cement stays nice until it drives, and that there’s nothing in that cement that is unwanted by the person who put it there because they realize it’s worth it to put that protective measure in place up front so they have less to repair later.

Perhaps now, other factors can get involved. But let’s say for these purposes that they can take extra measures to protect their cement. And we look at another way decide what you want displayed on your wet cement that will become cement. Think of it as your sidewalk. I know we call things Facebook walls right now, but what do you want displayed on your sidewalk? Will you be proud of it a day later, when new people see it that you get connected to not the friendly day to day gawkers and commenters that like to say their piece and you have a little banter and fun within your little space?

What about new connections that you care about? Will they look at it the same way? And will you look at it the same way? Will you realize something about yourself? as you re read it and look at it and think, What was I really trying to accomplish here in my effort to slam someone else? Was I also demeaning myself or someone else? And was that my intention? Was I thinking this through about the full impact? And if you put something in your wet cement that you later realized you wish you hadn’t, what are you willing to do about it?

Are you willing to go through the process of writing wrongs with others or admitting mistakes? What are you willing to rectify? And another point, Are you messing with others wet cement? And sure you could make the argument that I made up front is to protect your cement. But what if they are not aware that they needed to do that? What if they’re not yet attuned to the importance of paying attention to their own walls and cement sidewalks? And to remember that when we engage in putting something on someone else’s?

What cement were actually now in someone else’s territory? We’re now on their property. We’re now on their Facebook wall. We air the intruder, so to speak in the situation. They’ve allowed it to a point, perhaps, but we lose a little bit of control. It’s very interesting nowadays that we could post something online and we could have it up there for like, 10 seconds. And in that 10 seconds, if someone is scrolling, they can take a picture downloaded and save it and share it. And you might take it off super fast because you realize, Whoops.

I wasn’t I was passionate in that moment. I was thinking this way. Now I’m realizing I don’t like the ripple effect of it, and yet someone else has captured it. You know how I know this Been there, done that on both sides of the equation, right? Put something up very quickly, taken it down, and I know someone’s been able to comment on it in a second, and they could have taken a picture. I’ve taken pictures of things. It’s too easy on the phone to snap it really quick, and I dont go about looking for opportunities to do this.

But I just happen to have done this at times past, and so it’s really interesting because we have to become this check and balance on ourselves if we care about this. We don’t have to. If we don’t like some people, their whole deal is I’m going to get all my emotions out online and may not be thinking about the possible ruckus that occurs now. Everybody’s in charge of themselves and their own feelings and thoughts at the same time. I’m not sure that we really recognize how every single thing we say in these public forums and in person or in any situation really impacts our ability to serve and influence others.

Unfortunately, as human beings, one of our weaknesses is we can super quickly judge people and write them off or decide there a certain way. And we stopped listening or re critique every single thing they say. And each of us has to decide on a moment by moment basis, how to overcome these biases and how to overcome these feelings we have about people that may or may not be related to the exact thing they’re sharing at that moment. But it is something I believe it’s important to think about in a day in time where it’s not as easy as wet cement, right.

You put something in that wet cement and you can come, and if it’s still wet, you can do some work on it and smooth it out online. It’s a little harder even in thes mobile APS and websites, where they claim not to keep your data. Are you serious? Like, please tell me you don’t believe that the data has been collected. It is now available for someone, or they wouldn’t have collected it right. So this week I am giving you a nudge to respect each other, cement respect your own think before you speak.

And how permanent will this comment be? Will I like the outcomes of what I’m saying from a long term perspective, and more so that any time in history it’s important to make sure we protect our Web cement? Think before we speak. How permanent will this comment be? Well, I like the outcomes long term. Am I speaking from a place of anger and passion in a way that may resonate with a couple people but is ultimately diminishing my chance to show up with all of the rest of the people I interact with on my full of judgment?

An argument? And is this what I want Toe? Look back on and see of myself. Or do I want to be able to see progress and how I interact with others? What I put out there into the world, it does matter. The good news, like I said at the beginning, is that the person that commissioned the sidewalk in the first place can decide whether to leave it there, whether to cover it up or whether to make it part of another demolition. Maybe it’s funny to them for a while, or maybe it’s not.

The hard part is they didn’t get to choose whether it was there, not it was put there by an external person that decided that what they wanted to do was more important than considering the property and the work of someone else. Thoughts to think about this week. Let’s show a little respect for each other ourselves and rise beyond the menu Sha that is, on the wet cement all around us that will soon harden. If we don’t actively work on it. Have a great week. Thanks for listening to the show today.

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