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Episode 75 Show Notes
As I watched them tear a building down
A gang of men in a busy town
With a ho-heave-ho, and a lusty yell
They swung a beam and the side wall fell
I asked the foreman, “Are these men skilled,
And the men you’d hire if you wanted to build?”
He gave a laugh and said, “No, indeed,
Just common labor is all I need.”
“I can easily wreck in a day or two,
What builders have taken years to do.”
And I thought to myself, as I went my way
Which of these roles have I tried to play’
Am I a builder who works with care,
Measuring life by rule and square?
Am I shaping my work to a well-made plan
Patiently doing the best I can’
Or am I a wrecker who walks to town
Content with the labor of tearing down?
“O Lord let my life and my labors be
That which will build for eternity!”
Author Charles Franklin Benvegar
originally published in 1967 in “The Songs of the Free State Bards” compiled by Vincent Godfrey Burns.
Episode 75 Transcript
This is Rebecca Clark Episode 75 Builders This’ll Podcast is for anyone that knows they haven’t yet found and offered up their best work but are compelled to seek it out and do it. Are you ready to move your desk? Hello, my friends hope you are doing well. I know that each week it seems like there’s a new surprise or a new challenge to work through, and I’m sure that you are experiencing the same in your life. I’ve had a few conversations with people that may not know each other, but I happen to know all of them. And as I talked to them, I realized that they’re going through experiences that I’ve been through before or I’m going through now. And it’s interesting to pay close attention to how each person is feeling in that process. So, for example, I know someone who is starting a new job and learning the job and bringing all their past experiences and skills to that job and are hopeful that they will excel in their new position At the same time. I know someone that was just laid off from a job they’ve been learning and growing in these last couple of years, and they’re anxious and determined to find something that will meet their needs. I’m also talking to some friends that have been in their jobs a while and as other employees leaving the organization, these friends are asked to take on more responsibilities and roles. So instead of doing one person’s job, they’re doing two or three jobs under expected to continue performing well in those positions. I’m talking to others that air working 10 hour days, six or seven days a week for jobs. They normally worked 40 or 45 hours for before because there’s just so much going on and so much change in how the work is done now that a lot of the work is done virtual that they used to dio in person. I’m talking to some that are like me that have made career shifts and are rethinking how to combine new skills in old and into what type of environment in a way that finds meaning for this next step in life. I wanted to share that this past week I have had a few experiences that have taught me about myself, but also about how I should show up, perhaps, or how I want to show up if I’m on the other end of the equation. So, for example, I was in an interview a couple weeks ago with an organization, and I didn’t feel that great. After the interview, I felt like the interviewer didn’t quite understand my experience or how I was explaining it, and I’ll admit to feeling a little bit bad about that. And then I was interviewed again by this company, and it was a completely different person with slightly different skills than the person I’d interviewed with before. And I felt the same way after the interview, and it was really strange to me. I’m like, Why am I feeling off? And because I coach on this? I’m very aware that our feelings about things come from our thoughts. And so I was wondering why I was having certain thoughts about these particular people I was interviewing with, and I kind of bounced off some ideas with a friend and realized that one of the reasons I was feeling off is because the examples I was sharing were examples that were a regular part of the day in the life of anyone in the training and development field and the people I was talking. Thio didn’t seem to understand stand the terminology I was using and really, they were the ones that were using different terminology. I was using generally accepted terms in the field of training development, and they weren’t and I was feeling a bit off from it and thinking that meant something about me when really I realized, Oh, they just have a different way than the rest of the industry from referencing the same exact kind of work and it’s okay, But I took that to mean that they were viewing me as less of a candidate or less experience than I actually am. And I will admit that it gave me certain thoughts about them as a result. At the same time, I was in conversations with another organization where I literally felt built up when interacting with them. Whenever they ask questions and however they responded, it just seemed like they really enjoyed talking to me. It seemed like they really appreciated my skills and experience and me noticing that or thinking they thought that of me propelled me into better emotions, which further enabled me to share better examples of my experience, perhaps and better stories and better insights than I did in the other interviews. What’s amazing to me is I’m still moving forward, both both of these organizations and others as well. And yet I now have certain thoughts about each of these organizations on which one I would love to work for in which one I would not and which one I could use my coaching skills in and which 1 may or may not be open to that. And it was really interesting to me because I thought back on all of the hiring panels that I have lead over the last few years and how sometimes when you’re on the hiring panels, we would act like we were perhaps this great place toe work, and people had to prove themselves to us, whereas other hiring panels were like, Let’s just make this a great experience for us and for the person. Let’s help bring out the best in them and we’ll see what they would offer. Let’s see if they’re a fit and we’re excited to give them a chance to present their best self to us and I personally think that’s very important to help a candidate feel comfortable in sharing their best self with us. And inevitably, when someone feels comfortable and shares their best with us, we often get a glimpse into where their weaknesses might be in that process. And that’s okay because then we can decide. Do we care about that weakness, or do we care about this strength more or what are the trade offs involved? And we can have a really candid and sincere conversation. But either way they can leave the conversations feeling like they’re a credible person, that they have skills and experiences to offer the world, regardless of whether they offer them through our organization. I’m very attuned to this because I have been super lucky in life to always have work. In fact, I’ve often had overlapping jobs, but I have been around people that have been through lots of layoffs, lots of unemployment and different experiences that are very difficult to navigate because you start thinking that something is wrong with you, perhaps in the process of trying to find the right work. And of course, when you think that it becomes more difficult because the self esteem is impacted and we can get caught in this churning thinking that doesn’t help us as we seek out the best. At the same time, we’re going through all of these experiences as a world as we deal with viruses and then take that down to national levels where that impacts jobs and health and stock markets and interactions with those in our neighborhoods or churches or work or any establishment that we go into to purchase something, as everybody has different views on how to deal with these world issues or these national issues or these local issues. So there are a lot of critics out there. There’s a lot of judgment, there’s fear and there’s anger, and I know that each of us has experienced all these in different ways. And then you combine that with personal situations. You’re going through where you are trying to be open to new experiences, air open to change are open to growth and we just all have a lot to work through. And so as I was thinking about this, I came across this poem that is the theme at a school. My child is going Thio and I wanted to share this theme in hopes that I could think more about this this week and that you may be interested and thinking about this this week as we interact with each other and as we consider the different challenges that each person is going through in life and in work, because I know I try to apply a lot of this to the work we do in our lives and ask yourself if you’re a wrecker or a builder. So here’s the poem. Apparently it’s from someone Anonymous and Howard Hedley. So he must have modified this in some way, and it’s called builders. I saw them tearing the building down a gang of men in a busy town with a ho heave ho and a lusty yell. They swung a beam and the side wall fell. I asked the foreman if these men were a skilled as those he would hire if he were to build. He laughed and said, Oh, no, indeed, common labor is all I need for they can wreck in a day or two. What builders have taken years to do so, I asked myself as I went my way. Which of these roles am I to play? Am I a builder who works with care measuring life by the rule and square? Or am I a wrecker who walks the town content in the role of tearing down? I’ve made my decision. I’ll start today. I’ll be a builder in every way. I thought this was a great little story with a point, and I thought, Yeah, what will I be? Um, I’m gonna be a critic. Am I going to judge? Am I going to tear down or am I going to find a way to build someone up, help them along the way, and work on something in my life that is going to take effort and focus, persistence, good habits and perhaps involved others toward growing or building something that will last? Um, I going to spend a lot of my time researching and comparing and judging and tearing down something that someone else has put out there. And I think all of us benefit from taking well, look at what do we do online or an interpersonal communications and ask ourselves, You know what? We’re spending more time on that building or wrecking. And this reminder that wrecking is super easy. It’s a lot harder to build. And even though I shared examples of people with their work, this can apply to anything. But I guess my nudge for this week is to ask this question. Which of these roles, Um, I to play? And the good news is we can start every day with a chance to answer that question differently because there are some days where I’m not proud. High Reactor respond. And I’ve realized that in those moments I can choose whether to stay in that space or to change and move forward and build myself back up, build others back up and pay close attention to what I’m critiquing and what I’m judging and find out if there’s some reason that this is impacting me in this way. Anyway, just some thoughts. I will post that builder poem on the website, and I hope you take a look and think about this this week. It’s a great time to do it, especially as we all have our heightened emotions in our wonderful 2020 year talk to you Soon Thanks for listening to the show today. If you enjoyed it, I’d love if you’d write a review and share the show with your friends. Sign up for a weekly nudge at move your desk dot com. See you next Monday.