Episode 87 – Confidence Course Coaching with Jim Palmer

This is Rebecca Clark. Episode 87. Confidence. Course Coaching with Jim Palmer. Thanks. Podcast is for anyone that knows they haven’t yet found and offered up their best work but are compelled to seek it out and do it. Are you ready to move your desk? It’s great to be with Jim Palmer today, and he is a life coach and has a very specific focus, though he can coach on anything. But it’ll be fun to talk today with Jim so that we could talk about a different perspective on coaching. Perhaps. And one of the things I really found interesting about Jim is that he offers confidence, course coaching. And when I first heard that, I didn’t know what that was. But I’m like, Well, we want to be confident, right? But there’s a different meaning behind confidence. So as way of introduction to Jim, I guess. Could you talk to us about what the confidence course actually is? Yeah, absolutely. Rebecca. So I’m prior military. I served in the Navy for eight years, and my whole life I wanted to be a naval officer. Can’t remember ever wanted to do anything else s o I kind of followed that calling and became a naval officer and did a number of different cool things during the military. And when I got out, I went to the corporate world. We’ll talk about that in a little bit. But when I decided Thio help veterans and I was trying to think of a company name, it was a connection. For me, to the military is a confidence course is an obstacle course that we used to train recruits. You know, they have the obstacle course, and then just one version is called the confidence course. It’s built to develop confidence within the recruits as they overcome the obstacles. And for me is a life coach. That’s exactly what we dio is. We help people get over obstacles teaching the technique or the way in which to get over that obstacle and be there with them and coach them through its support him and that’s where the name came from. So with that is some confidence, but also that they’re getting over those obstacles right? And that was that was really cool to find out that there was a depth to what that meant and that you were emerging kind of your past and your future or current work together, right? That military and that coaching And, of course, all of your experiences in that. So you were in the Navy for eight years? Yes. Yes. Okay. And then you went to various. Sorry. I was going to say I served on three ships, uh, aircraft carrier and then two destroyers. You know, that’s great. My father was in. He was a Navy intelligence officer or something. And he said he never went on a ship in the Navy. He went on a ship after he was already out s pretty interesting, but we got to go to Thailand in a couple places when I was very little as a result of that. Well, but since you retired, you haven’t been on ships. No, no, not at all. Yeah, I left. The last year that I was in the Navy was very difficult. I was on. I was chief engineer on a destroyer, and it had quite a bit of work that needed to be done. It was in bad shape. And so I was spending an inordinate amount of time on on the ship, not only when we were at sea, but when we’re in home port. So my oldest daughter was about to at the time, and my wife was pregnant with our second one, and I was just gone all the time, and it just kind of wasn’t fun anymore. And I wanted to be a dad and be home more and sacrifice less. It’s actually something that I talked to my clients about is they go from that world of heavy sacrifice and we’re now around the holiday time. It’s for recording this. We just passed Thanksgiving. I missed a number of Thanksgiving, so I was away from family. You know, before I was married or after I was married and you sacrifice your way a lot. And when you move into the civilian world, in your home or on those holidays and you’re around more and one of the other things that we talk about, his work life balance, you with military people, they there, you know, very focused on serving and doing well on performing well, and it is easy to overwork as a kind of ah, an effort thio to do well. But you end up again. You’re not away or say you know overseas or something like that. But you’re away at work, so you’re still sacrificing time away from the family. So that’s something that mean work through and finding, you know, efficiencies and productivity type skills so that you can complete your work and go home and feel good about going home that you’re accomplishing what you’re supposed to accomplish. Well, and you’re kind of straddling a couple of different worlds right now is you, Coach. And as you work, you’re kind of being this entrepreneur and full time employees. So I’m assuming that you are practicing what you preach as you talk about, like getting this balance as you try to pursue both at the same time. I’ve been very successful in my corporate career. I got out of the military my first opportunity to interview my landed the job with the company that I ended up spending 12 years with, and I I moved up the corporate ladder very quickly. Within five years I was an executive, and I’ve had a very good life. I had to learn through some good mentors, coaches, but also myself learning to balance, work, life and be home war and participate in the kid’s sports and coaching them and that type of thing and still be successful, so I had to be very efficient. I’ve developed some tools that I share with my clients to help them, you know, move up quickly, but in a way is efficient. And they can, you know, accomplish what they need to accomplish in a normal work week and not have to be there on weekends or late at night or that type of thing. So that’s one of the things that I learned through my corporate career, and I’m balancing it as well, working after hours on the business and helping clients and weekends, that type of thing. All right, you know your major focus is veterans correct, like veterans transitioning into the corporate environment or transferring into entrepreneurship. Yes, and it’s a term that I use is veteran Preneurs is kind of a veteran here, runs their own company as I am. Yeah, there is, uh, either the transition from the military or, in most cases, 66% of veterans. When they leave the military end up in a role that they don’t like, they’re very unhappy. So I’m trying to do my part to change that bond, help them land a role that they could be very happy with, or if they are unhappy, how they can get their career on track to where it’s in line with what their abilities are. They have knowledge and skills that seed many of their peers. So they that’s part of the the mismatch on. I help them with that. You know, I share with them. I’ve watched veterans leave the military throughout my career and be very unhappy, so I’ve witnessed it. Helped mentor many, many inventors veterans throughout my corporate career. In about five years ago, I found life coaching began to realize that I had a gift that I could give back to those veterans and support them, and that’s become my passion. Wow. So five years ago, you discovered life coaching. Did you? Was it a particular coach you discovered, or just the concept of life coaching? Or how did that happen? There’s a there’s a couple of different Avenue avenues. I was in a not really a midlife crisis, but I I was struggling Personally. I’ve been very successful and, you know, we’ve raised three very successful, wonderful daughters, had all these good things, but it just wasn’t feeling, you know, just very confident and really very happy. So I sought out through, you know, way all list, the podcasts and different things. There are a number of different coaches that I began to discover and hear their message to help me and my thought process. Thoughts create our feelings. So changing the way that I thought optional the way we think so, changing the way I thought about circumstances helped me feel better. And then also at the same time, I was on a await journey. I had always struggled with my weight, and I began to find some coaches around weight loss. There’s connection also the way we think you’re successful. Weight loss isn’t about just being very disciplined and having willpower. Willpower runs out, but understanding what’s creating the desire, food and that type of thing. So those kind of came together. And then about a year and a half of almost two years ago now I found our coach with Life code School for Castillo, and that brought it all together for me to realize not only how to coach myself but also coach others and I saw certification and, you know, So spend a year in certification to become a certified life coach, life and weight loss coach, and build a business around that and and help people for what is now ah, side business. But eventually, maybe a full time business. You know, I like that you shared a few things. I didn’t know lots of parts of your journey, right, because we’ve coach together a few times, but you don’t know everything from all those you know, sessions or anything. But as you’re talking, I’m realizing how you were going on your own personal journey, plus the transitions you created for yourself, from military to corporate and how now learning about coaching is helping you kind of bring it all together, and this is close to me. I’ve worked for a Department of Defense for many years, and even though I don’t have a military background and my father’s experience was when I was very young, I still got to experience some of the culture and especially working in an organization where we had a lot of veterans people transitioning thio more of a corporate environment within the Department of Defense and to see how many differences there were right? Like some people, it was a big change in what they wore every day that there is no uniforms, and others talk about how they knew a lot of stuff, but they didn’t know how to translate it to the way that we used the same information. And then there’s even the nuances that were interesting toe watch in our work environment, where people were from various military entities. I guess you could say is very purple right. They call this a combination of different backgrounds, but how their past impacted, how they responded to leadership in meetings or in work situations where there was a dynamic that I didn’t deal with because they’re like, Oh, she’s not prior military. So I didn’t have in my head that I needed to treat a prior general a certain way right? But if they had been a certain rank before, they would have this kind of interaction that was different than what I was having, because it was a carry over from a different culture and just to see how they had to decide what to keep and what to let go of and recognize what was no longer serving them in their work because they weren’t that rank anymore. They weren’t they weren’t the underdog or they weren’t the one you know on top giving orders like it’s a totally different structure. And so I can imagine that with your clients, there’s certain things that yes, some of us could coach on and help them through just by asking questions, being aware, having a certain amount of life experience but that you would haven’t extra understanding of because you have gone through some of those kinds of transitions. I don’t know if you have a story or experience from your own life or from someone you’ve coached that, like someone that had ah ha’s or they’ve made changes as they’ve transitioned into a different environment and have found success or insights. Yes, so my first experience I started as a shift supervisor when I left, and I learned very quickly in the military, you give people orders or direction, and you don’t have to follow up. It just happens, and I learned very quickly that in the civilian world, not not the case, you have to follow up and follow up and follow up and I don’t look at that as a negative thing. What I learned from that experience was to read people better and to understand within my shift of 40 50 different employees. They all had strengths and weaknesses, So I look to their strengths and tried to put them in the right place for their strengths. We all have weaknesses that we need to work. I but I focused on their strengths, and I won those folks over fairly quickly. So that is another thing that I teach is that you know, don’t look at that as a negative. Look it as an opportunity to look from a different perspective and look at people within your group and understand them. Better get to know them better, as you mentioned earlier things that you just learned with us talking, you don’t really learn a lot about the backgrounds of the people until you deploy and then you spend a lot of time with them. You you begin to learn them, but it just isn’t a priority in the civilian world. It is. It is and should be a priority to learn your team and and understand what what goes on. Where they come from what their background is, and you know what their desires are if you could help them out and help them advance in their career, that type of thing. So I would say that that was very early, and I only spent I think eight months is a supervisor before was promoted. But in that time I built probably the most important skills that I still rely on today and still used today. Well, it sounds like you recognize that quickly and decided to do something about it. And, you know, it’s interesting you brought up the feedback thing or the follow up thing because that was interesting toe watch in my world, because people were very good at getting things done. And there was some Yes, sir, involved. And but on the flip side of that, it was very interesting to see when some of us would come forward to go. Oh, no, I’m not doing that. We’ve got to talk about this first, and we’ve gotta have to ask more questions to make sure that’s what you really want. Sometimes people were thrown off a bit e because, like, are you questioning like, absolutely, I’m you’re paying me to question you right? And that was not a normal thing, s so it was important. I know I had to learn to realize the benefits of both worlds and how Thio ensure that we played together because if you’re a manager or boss leader in that situation, you kind of have to tell the people reporting to you that you expect them to disagree e. I want your riel feedback. I don’t want you to just say yes and go off. I want you Thio participate. So that’s interesting to be a part of. And of course, it is a giving back when I hear you say it, like realizing that the military community and the veteran the Vetra preneurs veteran preneurs veteran preneurs are really people that desire to give their best. They desire to serve and help and then to be a coach that’s helping those who help others. Yeah, not all civilian organizations recognize it. And that’s something that I helped the veterans with is that they’re gonna encounter that just today versus even 10 years ago. There’s so many more organizations that are hiring veterans, which I think is phenomenal. But, you know knowing what to expect, knowing that people you know you’ll have to win them over. But at the same token, a lot of that turns is they’re getting out and there’s a lot of organizations that are helping veterans Now. I disagree with a lot of advice that they’re giving. They tell the veterans, you know, to basically conform your joining them, and so I have a different approach. Mine is that now sees the opportunities You don’t have to lower your expectations, raise your expectation. That’s part of the reason a lot of these veterans or are undecided ISF I’d with where they chose to land because they settled. I’m somebody I walked into a military recruiter on a Friday without an appointment, presented myself and a bold action. And and that’s what I think veterans should should take is bold actions. They may not land with the salary or those types of things, but there many other aspects of a role upward mobility, things like that that you know they can. They can set their expectations with. But another thing that I teach is really having a 10 year plan. That first role is just a stepping stone the I spent 12, more than 12 years with the first company, which I think is rare but spent a long time with companies, especially today. So if you have a 10 year plan, you’re gonna make decisions differently than the kind of grasp e feeling of I have. This is the first offer that I got. I have to accept, you know, and military people getting out. Veterans getting out their biggest fear. And this is almost every client that I’ve worked with has said that they just are afraid they’ll be able to provide for their family, which is a terrible feeling, um, Thio to be there. And the first thing is to ease them. They’re they’re valuable, a lot of value, like you said, the person who knew a lot of stuff but didn’t quite know where that would apply. You know, I like to say leaders with technical skills, you know their leaders first. They have all these technical skills and there is the right place for them, and we could help them find with that, right? Yes, So that’s that’s a lot to work on. You know, they’re going from a known career path, timing to the big unknown. And it’s quite scared, which is is fascinating, right? Because if you’re in the military you’re trained to fight, you go through all these difficulty, physical challenges and obstacle courses like you mentioned. And yet what could be just a scary or even more scary are some of these things having to do to transition to roles that aren’t Aziz life threatening but yet nonetheless bring up all the same kinds of scary, fearful. Like all those emotions that we talked about his coaches right that may or may not serve us at any given point, keep you stuck in an indecision or procrastination and all of the things that we try to overcome those were some of the obstacles that we get over early is, you know, having a plan, knowing where you’re going, you know fear is part of it. Failure is part of it. Military people don’t like to fail. Failure is the, you know, trialing error process and being comfortable with that, you know, working through all of that Teoh find and getting, you know, get on your journey and follow your heart. You know this path and toward your passion, right? well. And there are. You know, there’s all these studies and different methods that those coming out of the military, those that are in the military or going through with counseling and with working through PTSD and all of those things. And I’m just doing that. Some people that you work with are getting help in those areas. But how would coaching help them as well, like you wouldn’t recommend that this replaces that. Or would you recommend it replaces some of those other services that are out there? Or in addition to Or I would say, it’s a mission to, you know, they’re professionals for PTSD and people who are, you know, diagnosed with PTSD. Where coaching comes in, is is PTSD is a circumstance, you know. It’s how we think about having PTSD and some of the limitations or or challenges that we’re dealing with and not to be a victim of it. You know, on how Thio think about it and thought to drive our feelings, our feelings, driver actions, where are results? So that’s where coaching comes in and it’s in a zey support to that prospect. Professional process of doctors and the VA is much better improving all the time with helping that type of thing. In many cases, it’s other issues that come up with, you know, whether be overeating, you know, stress and other things that have come about over drinking, overworking as we talked about a little bit. All of those life impacts, relationship issues, you know, as we talked about being away from the family. Now you’re home all the time. There’s challenges with that cove. It certainly, you know, with everybody quarantine together. You know, a lot of families weren’t used to that. I have to go through some of that being quarantined together. So all of those things we help with and really our job is coaches is to help the client see and experience and make progress. Their work and their effort is there’s, you know, we’re there to help them with that. That’s one of the the things that it was kind of shocking to me. In some ways, you know, you go, you know, I don’t even have to follow up with people, necessarily. It’s great. Thio help hold someone accountable, especially if they want to be held accountable to realize that as a coach you show up, You do your practice, you are there for the person. But the end of the day, they’re the ones that are responsible, which is a beautiful thing, because if they make mistakes, those air theirs and that they have success, it’s theirs. But you got to be part of that journey with them and help them think of different possibilities along the way. And I think that’s great. I am excited about your niche, even though, you know, as we’ve talked about you, coach anyone that’s interested in working with you because we all resonate with different people. And that’s great because there’s coaches out there and there’s people that need to be coached and we all don’t need to go to the same person, right. But where could people connect with you to find out more about what you offer and follow what you share? And dio yes, So my my websites www dot confidence course coaching dot com. I’m on Instagram. You can get to any of my instagram or Facebook confidence Course. Coaching is also Facebook, and then Jim See Palmer is my instagram. So all of those sources, uh, that can reach out connect with me and follow me. Listen to the message and providing any value that I can and things that I post to help people they don’t necessarily have. Thio hire a coach, you know, they’re gonna listen to podcasts or like yours, or read postings by myself for other coaches, um, to help them out. So So that’s the way they confined me. And I’m happy to work with anybody. Right? And you have a non option on your website, I believe, to sign up for a free session to work through whatever problems someone wants to bring and talk through with you. Yeah. Thank you for pointing that out. Yeah. The free consult is there is another way for me to help and provide service toe. Anybody who needs it, Askew said, work through any problems that may be experiencing, even if it’s in decision. You know, we get caught up in trying to make a decision, and it can be overwhelming sometimes and, you know, just to go through and work that process out toe help with making that decision, right? Well, I hope many people connect you. I know we’ll put your information out on the website Do you have any last words that you would like to share? Advice, insights, thoughts. We kind of covered it a little bit, but most importantly, having a plan, Really? Spending time with yourself sitting down and thinking about what is your passion? Where do you want to go? Where do you wanna be in 10 years and get out of the day to day grind? That kind of gets us and kind of stuck With that plan. Things start to fall in place. You make decisions toward that future goal or that future plan. It makes it a whole lot easier. So that would be my number. One thing toe to tell everybody is really plan where you wanna be, where you wanna go, right kind of that conscious effort instead of defaulting to whatever it’s right. It’s a great way is instead of just defaulting and just sort of taking the days as they come and contend toe be stuck in that rut and be miserable as a result. And there’s no need right. We can get ourselves out. We can keep pressing that kind of thing. Well, thank you for coming on the show today, Jim and good luck. I know you have some new opportunities on your horizon and you’ll you’ve got all the tools and coaching options available. Thio do well at it, e. I appreciate it. Thanks for having me. And I enjoyed talking to you today. You, too. Thanks for listening to the show today. If you enjoyed it, I’d love if you’d write a review and share the show with your friends, Sign up for a weekly nudge at move your desk dot com. See you next Monday.